I think a lot of us as women can relate to growing up in homes where our parents or other family members told us what to wear. But is it healthy to be micromanaged like that? Well, this Reddit post by a girl, about having to sneak crop tops and shorter, more revealing clothes to another city, because of her strict father is a clear sign of how messed up this norm really is.
And here’s how people responded to the @u/Cold_Crazy2875 post. Many people have come forward to advise her on how to access these clothes when she moves to Mumbai.
But, in my personal opinion, this whole situation is problematic AF; Why so many desi do women have to deal with their parents, or other family members who control their lives, as adults?
1. “Maybe buy some new ones in Mumbai.“
2. “Put it there after your dad checks your bag and if he asks what you do with your bag, tell him you keep vintage stuff or no more bras.”
– Without hand1809
3. “Or put the crop tops and shorts in the towel pack.”
4. “Leave them at home, buy new croppers and shorter ones when you reach Mumbai.“
5. “Hide it in your bag where you kept your sis bras and panties. Or your laptop bag, or your purse or with your vintage goods so your dad won’t check, because it’s conservative. Or buy a bra holder and keep it there. Maybe even tuck it in your jeans or hide it in your car beforehand under the driver’s seat.”
6. “Take them to your friends house, have them wrapped up there and put them in a box and ready to be mailed to your office address. Then ask him to mail it to your address while you pick up the bags that have been checked by your parents and leave.“
7. “Checking your adult daughter’s bag? That’s disgusting..”
8. “Your dad is delusional if he thinks he can stop you by being strict mad. Go to Mumbai, buy the ones you like and enjoy your life to the fullest. Good luck girl.
8. “No matter how conservative the OP’s parents are, this is disrespectful, scary, disgusting and NOT NORMAL. It was suffocating to even read this.
9. “Not only is it super controlling, but also really weird and….ick! It is not normal. Glad the OP is bouncing back to Mumbai where she can live her best life!
10. “He crosses the line. It goes from controlling to being downright abusive.
11. “Will your dad check all your clothes?” I can’t believe I just read this. OP I hope you realize that it’s not normal for a father or mother to check their adult daughter’s clothes. Looks like they have no respect for you and your privacy.
12. “Stand up to your dad and tell him he can’t tell you what to do anymore.” You have a job. You don’t need to depend on him.
– Noisy accountant4973
13. “I don’t understand. What does a grown man have to do with the type of clothes you wear, especially when you’re an adult? There are strict boundaries that have to take place here. is damn good.
14. “Girl, buy some new clothes there. It’s not worth the drama.”
15. “Hey OP, this is not normal and it’s borderline abusive. Please ask for help.“
While our culture’s tendency to encourage seeking advice from older family members is not inherently wrong, it often ends up creating abusive, controlling, and suffocating environments for young people.
And most often it is the women of the family who suffer from it. It is sad. It’s so unfortunate that we’ve normalized this level of family interference and control..